I’ve lost count how many times a victim of abuse has shared an incident where the family or church knew what happened, yet it was never talked about. It’s the elephant in the room that everyone dances around. The impact of the event lingers on, but no one will speak of it.
I remember one particular day when a young Fijian man shared with me that he had been raped as a boy by his next-door neighbour. I will never forget the words that followed: “I’ve recovered from the trauma of my rape, but I’ve never recovered from the trauma of my family’s silence.”
Christian psychologist Diane Langberg writes:
“To remain silent is to fail to honor the event & memory. By honoring the memory, I mean speaking the truth about it, saying it really happened, saying it was really evil and saying that it really did damage. It dishonors the victim when we are silent about their experience or pretend it did not occur or was not important. Talking says I am here, what happened was wrong, I am damaged by it, justice is needed, and so is care for my broken heart. “
What event in your family or community needs to be talked about? What have you ignored for years, hoping it would disappear?
If you ignore cancer in your body, it will eventually destroy you. If you remain silent about abuse in your community, it will also bring destruction. Have the courage to speak out the unspeakable. To have the hard conversations. That is the first step to healing.
#DisruptSilence