I’m sure we have all been in the position of sharing a deep struggle with another Christian, only to have them respond with some spiritual one-liner that’s meant to make it all better. However, it often leaves us feeling worse.
Sayings like “Just pray about it” or “God is good” can actually do more damage to the person who is pouring out their heart.
Quite often, we respond with such lines because we don’t know what to do with the other person’s pain. We feel uncomfortable listening to their issues. It gets awkward as they start weeping and tears run down their face. After all, aren’t we meant to be strong Christians full of faith??
“Spiritual bypassing” is the term that has been coined for when we use religious language to avoid dealing with someone’s emotional issues.
Author Sheila Wray Gregoire says, “Instead of truly listening to the person’s pain, we provide distance from unresolved feelings using God-language. This makes God sound indifferent to our pain, which God would never be.”
That’s why one of the best things we can do for others who are suffering is just listen. We validate them and their experience as we listen and empathise. Spiritual bypassing ignores the deeper truth of God’s incredible compassion for us, especially in our time of need.
Father help us to be a people who can sit with each other, and listen to the hard and painful issues of life without throwing in a spiritual quote to “make it all better.”
Help us to be a people who can release the compassion of God to one another and if needed speak wisdom at the right time. May we not dismiss people by using quotes such as “just forgive & forget” or “God causes all things to work together.” Help us to do better.